Lanka Becomes 'Sri Rajapakisthan'

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Ayyo! Rajapakse

President Mahinda Rajapaksa’s brother Basil is appointed as a member of Parliament amidst protest.

His other brother is also in Parliament.

Thousands Change Name to “Rajapaksa”!

By our correspondent Iqbal Athas Rajapaksa
(In hiding, somewhere in Rajapaksapura, Sri Rajapaksistan 20-09-2007)

Today there was total confusion in Sri Rajapaksistan (formerly Sri Lanka) when thousands and thousands of people changed their name to Rajapaksa to get appointed as a Member of Parliament or even to get a job.

“Aiyo! It is total confusion,” said a man called Rajapaksa, “Everyone is changing their name to Rajapaksa! This is mad! The telephone directory is now full of Rajapaksas. Even Abdul Gafoor of the Thambi Kade now goes by the name of Abdul Gafoor Rajapaksa and the Thosai Kade is run by Nagalingam Rajapaksa!”

Hospitals authorities were reporting that all newborn babies are being named Rajapaksa by their parents (also called Rajapaksa) and several babies have now got mixed up. Dr. Rajapaksa of the De Soyza Maternity Hospital said “Of the deliveries this morning all except one baby were named Rajapaksa. One was named Askapajar, which I believe is Rajapaksa spelt backwards. Even at this moment, Midwife Rajapaksa is delivering a baby already named Rajapaksa by its parents!”

Even the Police and the courts are having trouble with most victims and offenders having the name of Rajapaksa said Police Inspector Rajapaksa of the Pettah Police. A High Court trial (State v Rajapaksa, Rajapaksa and Rajapaksa) came to a standstill today when the victim, the suspects, the Advocates and even the Judge were called Rajapaksa. Even most of the jurors were called Rajapakse. Emerging reports indicate that the Mahanayaka Theros and the Bishops and Archbishop have changed their name to Rajapaksa. Even Pope Rajapaksa.... (That’s enough Rajapaksa! - Ed. Rajapaksa)

Announcements

Deaths Rajapaksa, Raja.

The death is announced of Raja Rajapaksa, beloved Husband of Rajani Rajapaksa, loving father of Rajapaksa (Bank of Rajapaksa), Dr. Rajapaksa (Rajapaksapura Hospital) and Rajapaksa (MD Rajapaksa Industries) Loving grandfather of Rajapaksa and Rajapaksa. Cortege leaves Residence at 4.30pm today to the Rajapaksa Crematorium

Births

Rajapaksa, Rajapaksa.

Mr and Mrs Rajapaksa of Battaramulla are pleased to announce the birth of their baby son Rajapaksa Rajapaksa. Both mother and son are doing well.

Marriages

Rajapaksa and Rajapaksa.

The families of Rajapaksa Rajapaksa (of Rajapaksa Corporation) and Rajapaksa Rajapaksa (of the Rajapaksa Communications) are pleased to Announce the marriage of their daughter (or is it the son ?) to their son (or is it daughter?) at the Rajapaksa Hotel......(That’s enough Rajapaksas! - Ed)

Change of Name

I, Warnakulasuriya Muhandiramge Francis Fernando of Paiyagala will henceforth be known as Rajapaksa Mudiyanselage Rajapaksa Rajapaksa. (43782)

I, Ranil Wickremasinghe of Cinnamon Watta C7 will henceforth be known as Ranil Rajapaksasinghe (96410)