Blue States Secede

by Unknown, Middle of the US presidential election

Dear Red States:

If you manage to steal this election too we've decided we're leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with
us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Peace out,
--Blue States

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Tamils for Obama is releasing three videos. Here are descriptions of the videos.

The first is light-hearted. It shows pictures of Obama and animations of prominent Democrats dancing on the Whitehouse lawn. “Gimme Shelter”, one of Barack’s favorites tunes, plays in the back ground. It is about six minutes long.

Link: (http://www.tamilsforobama.com/Obama2.html) or go to www.TamilsforObama.com , hold the mouse on the “Video” tab, and  from the drop down menu click “Promotional Video of Obama 1”.

The second one is just a touch more serious. It imagines Tamils in 2012 evaluating Obama’s first term. They give him a report card with all “A”s except for the last item, which is Sri Lanka, for which he gets an “F”. But it is noted that future has not happened yet, so it can be changed. In the alternate future, in which Tamil Americans stay active, Obama has intervened in Sri Lanka and saved the Tamils.  This time he gets all “A”s. It is about six minutes long.

Link: (http://www.tamilsforobama.com/Obama1.html) or go to www.TamilsforObama.com , hold the mouse on the  “Video” tab, and  from the drop down menu click “Promotional Video of Obama 2”.

The third video is a sober one. We borrowed it from a Tamil site on the internet. This video got a lot of attention among Indian Tamil leaders. The video shows the Sri Lankan genocidal war on Tamils in progress. What we have done with this video is to translate the Tamil voices into English. It is about 16 minutes long.

Link: (http://www.tamilsforobama.com/gotipbs.html) or go to www.TamilsforObama.com , hold the mouse on “Who are the Tamils?”, from the drop down menu click “Video: Genocide of Tamils in progress by Sri Lanka  “

To see the first two videos on YouTube, go to http://www.youtube.com, and in the search  space type ”TamilsforObama”. 

Thank you,

Tamils for Obama- 2008