A Pit List for the President
by Sachi Sri Kantha
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Or a better strategy to earn some much-needed revenue is go for instant reprimand. Make an official decree that for every mention of ‘LTTE’ by any of the above-mentioned rascals in their commentaries, essays, editorials, analyses and what not, they should forfeit 500 Sri Lankan rupees. If an LTTE official is specifically named in these scribblings, they should pay 5,000 Sri Lankan rupees for one time use. Then see what happens; whether these knaves can contribute anything sensible to the mass media. I have a feeling that day in and day out, these rascals are cavalierly winging in their job by just promoting the abbreviation LTTE to the Google database.
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According to a recent report which appeared in the Daily Mirror (Colombo) of Aug.16, 2006, President Mahinda Rajapakse is unhappy. This is what the newsreport mentioned.
“Unhappy over undue prominence given to the LTTE in the media, President Mahinda Rajapaksa is seriously considering introducing a set of guidelines to all media organizations.”
I know. I know. One can feel President Mahinda Rajapakse’s unhappiness and gripe. “Undue prominence given to the LTTE in the media.” This has been a vexing problem for me, too. So much junk and nonsense is being written about the LTTE. So, I would like to help President Rajapakse with my pit list. Don’t misquote me on this. (see the post script for an explanation).
Identify the Rascals
Psst! Presidante! You need to identify the media rascals first. It seems that the LTTE has been implanted into their brains in some rigged mantra, and they become zombies and simply cannot write anything, literally anything, without spewing the abbreviation LTTE. Whether what they contribute to the media has any logic, sense and relevance is another issue altogether. For El Presidante’s sake, I have prepared a roster of media rascals who abuse their time, office space and sundry privileges to scribble about the LTTE. Here is the roster, arranged alphabetically by surname. These guys could make a cricket team.
Rajpal Abeynayake
Iqbal Athas
Tisaranee Gunasekara
Bandula Jayasekara
Dayan Jayatilleka
Champa Liyanarachchi
H.L.D.Mahindapala
Lucien Rajakarunanayake
Dushi Ranetunge
Shimali Senanayake
Gamini Weerakoon
Lasantha Wickrematunge (12th man)
Check their damage
When I googled ‘LTTE’ just now, it came out with 3,400,000 hits. When I did the same with ‘SLFP,’ it provided only 145,000 hits. The very first entry for the SLFP was to the ‘St.Louis Front Page’, [St. Louis is a city in the state of Missouri, USA] and not to the party headed by El Presidente.
How could this happen? The SLFP was christened in 1951, and the LTTE was born 25 years later in 1976. Why has the LTTE become prominent in Google is because these numskulls can’t inhale air without puffing 'LTTE' out from their nuts and nuzzles.
Practical Steps to Prevent the LTTE’s Prominence
Why not bring a moratorium on the use of ‘LTTE’ or any of its identifiable euphemisms in the Sri Lankan media? Or a better strategy to earn some much-needed revenue is go for instant reprimand. Make an official decree that for every mention of ‘LTTE’ by any of the above-mentioned rascals in their commentaries, essays, editorials, analyses and what not, they should forfeit 500 Sri Lankan rupees. If an LTTE official is specifically named in these scribblings, they should pay 5,000 Sri Lankan rupees for one time use. Then see what happens; whether these knaves can contribute anything sensible to the mass media. I have a feeling that day in and day out, these rascals are cavalierly winging in their job by just promoting the abbreviation LTTE to the Google database.
Give Them a Challenge
President Mahinda – Last year, you labored and produced a gem of collective wisdom on your own and christened it ‘Mahinda Chintanaya.’ You considered it as the panacea to all the ills plaguing the Sri Lankans. Why not challenge the rascals in my pit list to replace your headache ‘LTTE’ with ‘Mahinda Chintanaya’ in their scribblings and see whether they can earn their paychecks?
Post-Script on Pits
I first heard the expression ‘It’s the pits’ from tennis great John McEnroe in a televised match in the 1980s when he was scowling at the umpire for a decision which went against him. For those who want to have clear semantic explanation, I provide two citations from two reference sources on the meaning of ‘pits.’ Like McEnroe, I also feel that the scribblings of the above-listed journalists are apt to be called the ‘pits.’
(1) Slang and Euphemism; A Dictionary, by Richard A.Spears, New American Library, New York, 1982, p.315. The entry on Pits provide the following description.
“Pits, the: 1. the arm pits. 2. anything really bad. [US slang, mid 1900s-present].”
(2) Facts on File Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins, by Robert Hendrickson, Checkmark Books, New York, 2004, p.385. The entry on ‘It’s the pits’ provide the follwing detail.
“It’s the pits: Grape pits, orange pits etc. contributed nothing to this relatively recent derogatory slang expression, which describes something of the worst order, though you might suspect that the bitter, unpalatable pits of the fruits would logically have something to do with the term. ‘It’s the pits’ was originally junkie talk from ‘Needle Parks’ across the country, the armpits being among the last and most painful places a drug addict can shoot dope when the rest of his body is pocked and diseased, the blood vessels collapsed.”
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